June 4, 2016

#KungAkoSiRody: The Big Issue of Big Media’s Big Ego

I am the 71-year-old Rodrigo Duterte and by the end of the month, I shall be the 16th president of this republic. Yes, I am a rude person and yes, it has been that way since I was born. Yes, I like banter and yes, that’s something that Davao media men are already very familiar with.

Yes, I might have offended Mariz Umali when I catcalled her but no, my actions were without any sexual innuendo. Yes, women have the right to complain about the incident but no, I will not apologize because I have the right to be stubborn. All my 16 million voters have always been aware of my foul mouth yet they still voted for me. Now, ask yourself why, then ask yourself what you should do because of that.

Yes, you have the right to write about my bad manners as much as you want to but no, I am not obliged to spend an hour each day of of whatever little time I have left in this world just to quench your thirst for tabloid content. If your dislike for my demeanor is more important than your duty as a journalist to inform the people of the next president’s plan for this country, then boycott my nightly press conferences.

(In the #KungAkoSiRody article series, ThinkingPinoy attempts to “play the political Game of Thrones” by pretending to be President Rodrigo Duterte.)

I am 71

Let me just remind you that unlike Mar Roxas, I never salivated about the presidency [NUAE]. It was the public who begged me to run over [MT] and over [PCI] and and over [Sun.Star] over [TV5] and over [GMA]. At 71, the public basically asked me to give them the last few good years left in my life.

Instead of playing with Sharky, Stingray, and Uno, I will be attending cabinet meetings. Instead of spending time with Kitty, I will be risking my life to end the drug menace. And instead of spending time with my dying former wife who I still deeply care about [Rap], I am here, with you, on a press conference.
Clockwise from top-left: My teenage daughter Kitty, Sharky with my daughter Inday, Stingray and I, Uno and I
Despite my foul mouth, I am reminding you that I am actually doing you and the rest of this a country a great favor. One, because I have little time left and I chose to spend it with you. Two, because no other president-elect has been this transparent. Heck, even that Noynoy you want beatified never revealed his cabinet choices until a day before his oath of office [BM].

I have been very clear from the onset that I am enjoying my remaining days as a rude person [Star]. Remember that I am 71 years old and I have been this way since 1945. When I step into Malacañang, I will be forced to be as superficial as all of you and given my advance age, it’s not unlikely that the next 6 years will be the last years of my life.

In exchange, all I asked of you was to excuse my manners for 26 days. But it appears that your feelings are more important than having a transparent government, isn’t it? Marvin encapsulated this catcalling issue so accurately on his facebook post:
This is how Philippine media works:
Rody: "I want to implement a 72-hour policy on government permit processing. I don't want people queuing."
Media: "But you catcalled. That's unacceptable"

: "I have appointed the most diverse cabinet members in history"
Media: "But you catcalled. Boo!"

: "I will restore peace talks with the NPA so that soldiers won't die unnecessarily anymore"
Media: "Nah. Still catcalled."

: "Namboso pala ako nung high school ako. (I was a voyeur in High School.)"
Media: "OMG. Please tell us more Mr. President-elect."

I am sorry, Big Media, but I have more important things to do than talk to paparazzi.

Putang ina niyo pala e.

You have misplaced priorities.

I am arrogant and in the dog-eat-dog world of Philippine politics, I would not have lasted this long and I would not have become this successful if it weren’t so. You, on the other hand, seems to be as arrogant as I am.

But let’s just be clear here. As the president-elect, I am indispensable at this very moment. You, on the other hand, are not. Despite your well-oiled machinery spewing nonstop black propaganda against me during the campaign season [Sun.Star], I still won. That sucks, right? But the more important issue is, how?

Women’s rights? Sure, that’s important. That’s the same reason why I helped pass the trailblazing Davao City Women Development Code Ordinance of 1997 [Inq]. Now, you can argue all you want about me “breaking the law in my own city” [Rappler], but that doesn't change the fact that this uncouth Mindanaoan did it while every other politician was busy blurting out flowery words that mean nothing in the long haul.

Oh! And in the middle of the conference, Rappler’s Pia Rañada even went as far as arguing with me about the definition of harassment [Politiko]. I admire this girl's balls, but she was in the presscon as a journalist, not as a surrogate mother-in-law.
But don’t get the idea that I have presscons just for you, the journalists. Stop flattering yourselves. My press conferences are for the 26 million Filipinos who have nothing to eat [WSJ].

So Ms. Pia Rañada, tell me, with your sole opportunity on that night to ask me about this nation’s fate, are the standards of propriety the issue that 26 million starving human beings care about most?

Hoy Pia, iyong mga Lumad sa Surigao, iyong mga squatters sa Payatas, iyong mga magsasaka sa Kidapawan…HIYANG-HIYA NAMAN SILA SA IYO. Putang inang batang ‘to, nagsasayang ng oras.

You are not indispensable.

I agree that news media, the fourth estate [Stanford], is an indispensable part of the democracy.

But hey, Big Media, you forgot it’s 2016 already. You do not have the monopoly on mass communication anymore. Sure, boycott my press conferences, boycott everything about me. But let me assure you that it will hurt you more than it will hurt me. Truth be told, I do not give a damn [MB].

Yes, boycott me and continue with your tabloid journalism. That way, people will stop reading your newspapers. People will stop watching your newscasts. People will stop listening to your radio commentaries. Instead, the people will go to other outlets that provide more meaningful and more useful information.
Social media and independent citizen journalists like ThinkingPinoy are there to take over. Yes, they may not be as refined as you are, but they sure are not as shallow.

You need me far more than I need you.

My questionable demeanor is public knowledge. Tell the people something they do not know!

On second thought, it just remembered that this will be the last 25 days of my relatively normal life. Yes, I may die of old age while in office. So why am I stressing myself out with your inane inquiries?

You know what, forget it. I’ll cancel all nightly press conferences until I assume office. If I want to tell the people something, I’ll call PTV4 [CNN]. Now, you’ll have to kiss the asses of PTV4 reporters, the people who most of you look down upon. Ah! Wouldn’t that be nice?

Sige, manghula na lang kayo ng isusulat hanggang sa katapusan ng Hunyo. Mga putang ina niyo! (ThinkingPinoy)


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